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international librarian of mystery

Monday, July 12, 2004

The Worst 100 Films

Another 'tick off the one's you've seen' list, this time of the worst 100 films as rated by IMDB users.

I won't actually list them all - you can either follow the link, or head over to supergood's post on it (from whence I nicked it), I'll just list the ones I've seen, with a note as to where my mind was at when I made the decision to waste an hour and half or so of my life on some celluloid (pardon my french) cack...

24. Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)
Quite pleased that I managed to avoid nearly any film in the top quarter of the list, with this stinker being the first I had laid my eyes upon. I knew this was going to be bad when I rented it - I just wanted to see how bad (in my younger sci-fi reading days, I'd actually read the book, so a bit of novel v. film comparison was at the back of my mind as well). Expecting a total shlock-fest, this turned out to be not-as-bad-as-it-could-have-been (expecting the worst is great for making things seem better, sometimes). It was still mind-bogglingly stupid though. For a brilliant run-down of scene-by-scene plot holes, check this site out. The author has only covered the first half of the film so far, but it already stretches to 17000 words. For me, the clincher was the fact that it took this technologically advanced alien race nine minutes to conquer modern-day earth, but all it takes for the humans to wipe them out in return is to teleport some radioactive material back to the home planet, thereby creating a catastrophic chain reaction of uranium and the alien's 'air' that wipes out the entire home planet. Oh yeah, like the aliens might not have some sort of screening system on their teleporters. And so on...

44. Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
I have no idea why I saw this. It was on. All I can remember is that bit where the grumpy sergeant gets 'Dork' suntanned onto his back. Soooo bad...

50. Spice World (1997)
No Way! This is a classic!

54. Cat in the Hat, The (2003)
Ugh. Had to watch it for work. Never. Again.

86. Avengers, The (1998)
Only the first half hour, admittedly. The fashion appeal was looking good, but plot and characterisation went downhill very quickly, and I just couldn't stand it. I should've got a bunch of the original series on DVD.

So, there you go, my eyes have only been exposed to five films of the worst 100, one of which I actually rate, another I was forced to watch, one I didn't get through, one that was just on (Police Academy), and the last (Battlefield Earth) I got out purely to see how bad it was.