bizgirl

Not me mind, but it appears some librarians are releasing their pent up frustrations though sex, drugs and rock and roll. No, wait, sex, drugs and plane hijacking.

[via Lipstick Librarian]

UPDATE: And a Canadian librarian has just been arrested for his involvement in the Black Panthers back in the 60s, and specifically his part in the attempted murder of a police officer in 1969.

[via MetaFilter]

Oh. My. God.

Words cannot express just how queasy this guy's muscles make me. Queasy in a bad way that is, not queasy in a getting-weak-at-the-kness-through-bizarro-lust way. 

All the imperial measurements leave me for dead, but I assume his 27" arm size is pretty massive. I mean, really, it looks like he's got a couple of third-trimester foetuses developing in his biceps.

He lists his two favourite foods as Italian and Steak. I think, perhaps, that there might be a couple of those Italians he's swallowed trying to escape via his arms.

Had to laugh at that one. And many more movie poster mash-ups and spoofs here.

Well, this sounds like it was scary.

Or, not, as the case may be.

Well, my vow to never do another quizilla 'who/what/which are you' type test again was shot down by this 'Which Jane Austen Character Are You?' one, which was just toooo appealing. I've always fancied myself as Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. Would my expectations be met?

Amazingly enough, having misplaced the link - I googled the quiz title, and it turns out there's three 'Which Jane Austen character...?' quizzes available. So, let's see what each has got to say...

1. the merriefuller version
You are Emma Woodhouse from Emma. A classic only child personality, you are constantly trying to rearrange the world (and society) to suit your personal world-view. Mostly, you succeed at that! You are persuasive and charming, and almost always manage to get your way-- which is good, because, as we all know, your way is the right way.

2. The oliveeatsrocks version
You are Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility. You posses an unbridled passion for life and love. You surround yourself with music and poetry which only fuels the hopeless reomantic in you. You can be melodramatic at times and often act without thinkging out the consequences. You must learn that love at first sight is not always the same as true love.

3. The awesomegirl version
You are Jane from Pride and Prejudice. A natural beauty who is the belle of the ball. You are innocent to the ways of the world and are always sincere in your hopes that everyone is always happy...

Meh. Now I remember why I don't do these quizzes.

You should never put a string of lit Black Cat firecrackers in someone’s back pocket while they’re on stage playing bass guitar with their band. Even if they fucked your knee up by reversing the figure-four on you that one time. And even if you crack up at just the idea of someone with their pants are on fire jumping up and down and spinning around and around like a dog chasing its tail while trying to figure out what’s going on. Yup, someone could get their ass burned, so it’s wrong. Despite the fact that shit is really, really funny.

When it comes time to pick out that first tattoo, remember: it doesn’t matter how much you like that one comic book. There’s always a chance that eight years later someone will make a movie of it that stars Sylvester Stallone. And you’ll be fucked.

And many more gems here and here.

Oohh, I quite like this. I'll have to buy one so I can wear it to our next Accessibility Issues Committee meeting (so as to have something interesting to talk about, as opposed to it being the usual yawn-fest it turns out to be) - having more braille around the library could only be a good thing.

Although, given the high quota of dodgy geezers that frequent the library, I suspect actually wearing it while on duty would be just asking for trouble.

Ideally, in fact, there'd be one that just read 'Asking for Trouble'.

[via boingboing]

Another 'tick off the one's you've seen' list, this time of the worst 100 films as rated by IMDB users.

I won't actually list them all - you can either follow the link, or head over to supergood's post on it (from whence I nicked it), I'll just list the ones I've seen, with a note as to where my mind was at when I made the decision to waste an hour and half or so of my life on some celluloid (pardon my french) cack...

24. Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)
Quite pleased that I managed to avoid nearly any film in the top quarter of the list, with this stinker being the first I had laid my eyes upon. I knew this was going to be bad when I rented it - I just wanted to see how bad (in my younger sci-fi reading days, I'd actually read the book, so a bit of novel v. film comparison was at the back of my mind as well). Expecting a total shlock-fest, this turned out to be not-as-bad-as-it-could-have-been (expecting the worst is great for making things seem better, sometimes). It was still mind-bogglingly stupid though. For a brilliant run-down of scene-by-scene plot holes, check this site out. The author has only covered the first half of the film so far, but it already stretches to 17000 words. For me, the clincher was the fact that it took this technologically advanced alien race nine minutes to conquer modern-day earth, but all it takes for the humans to wipe them out in return is to teleport some radioactive material back to the home planet, thereby creating a catastrophic chain reaction of uranium and the alien's 'air' that wipes out the entire home planet. Oh yeah, like the aliens might not have some sort of screening system on their teleporters. And so on...

44. Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
I have no idea why I saw this. It was on. All I can remember is that bit where the grumpy sergeant gets 'Dork' suntanned onto his back. Soooo bad...

50. Spice World (1997)
No Way! This is a classic!

54. Cat in the Hat, The (2003)
Ugh. Had to watch it for work. Never. Again.

86. Avengers, The (1998)
Only the first half hour, admittedly. The fashion appeal was looking good, but plot and characterisation went downhill very quickly, and I just couldn't stand it. I should've got a bunch of the original series on DVD.

So, there you go, my eyes have only been exposed to five films of the worst 100, one of which I actually rate, another I was forced to watch, one I didn't get through, one that was just on (Police Academy), and the last (Battlefield Earth) I got out purely to see how bad it was.

Beat that.

When I eventually put enough subconscious pressure on No Shoes Man to invest in a pair of snazzy brogues, he may well be interested in this - the World's Fastest Shoelace Knot. ("One day, all shoelaces will be tied this way"). Named after it's inventor - Ian - the, um, "Ian Knot" is...

"...perfectly symmetrical; besides looking neat, this also means the laces wear more evenly and thus last longer. With practice, I can now tie my laces in about one third of the time of a conventional knot!

I've given it a go (took me a while, knot-tying is not my forte, I've discovered), but, after a little perserverance, I'm a convert.

[via Jonathan's Liverstone]

Another great "liberry" story. Inspirational, in fact. I'm going to give a couple of my more annoying patrons what for when I see them next. Mr No Shoes is in big trouble...